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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Blamed
Mistakes
Mistake
Others
Made

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
Darynda Jones
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
Darynda Jones
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
Darynda Jones
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
Darynda Jones
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
Darynda Jones
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Darynda Jones
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
Darynda Jones
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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
Darynda Jones
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
Darynda Jones
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
Darynda Jones
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
Darynda Jones
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
Darynda Jones
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
Darynda Jones
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
Darynda Jones