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Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me, the former detective said.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Bites
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Scales
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Express
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Bite
More quotes by Darynda Jones
Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
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I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
Darynda Jones