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I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Longer
Attention
Many
Things
Shiny
Span
Weren

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
Darynda Jones
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
Darynda Jones
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Darynda Jones
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
Darynda Jones
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
Darynda Jones
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
Darynda Jones
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
Darynda Jones