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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Shows
Organisms
Stills
Host
Still
Holding
Passed
Celled
Coffee
Geological
Single
Hosts
Talk
Epoch
Show
Evolved

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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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