Quote

After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Single
Hosts
Talk
Epoch
Show
Evolved
Shows
Organisms
Stills
Host
Still
Holding
Passed
Celled
Coffee
Geological

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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
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My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
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