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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Stills
Host
Still
Holding
Passed
Celled
Coffee
Geological
Single
Hosts
Talk
Epoch
Show
Evolved
Shows
Organisms

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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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