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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Still
Holding
Passed
Celled
Coffee
Geological
Single
Hosts
Talk
Epoch
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Evolved
Shows
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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