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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Lemons
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Hey
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Life
More quotes by Darynda Jones
I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
Darynda Jones
I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
Darynda Jones
You’re the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones
The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
Darynda Jones
My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
Darynda Jones
That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
Darynda Jones
Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
Darynda Jones
I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
Darynda Jones
How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
Darynda Jones
She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
Darynda Jones
Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones
Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones