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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
Darynda Jones
Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
Darynda Jones
I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
Darynda Jones
Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones
When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones
Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
Darynda Jones
He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
Darynda Jones
Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Darynda Jones
Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones
I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
Darynda Jones
My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
Darynda Jones