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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Happy
Left
Labored
Long
Suicidal
Really
Sigh
People
Effect
Effects
Pretty
Sure

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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
Darynda Jones
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
Darynda Jones