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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Marrying
Upset
Considered
Asked
Loved
Wife
Hand
Hands
Sammy

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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity? BUMPER STICKER
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
Darynda Jones