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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Wife
Hand
Hands
Sammy
Marrying
Upset
Considered
Asked
Loved

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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
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Honestly, he acted as though he didn't like me anymore. Wait, maybe he didn't. Do you still like me? I never liked you. Oh, right. He had a point. Garreth & Charley
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
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Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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