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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
Darynda Jones
That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
Darynda Jones
My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
But, you're his son, I said, trying really hard to hate him. You're the son of Satan. Literally. And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson. Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, Okay, point taken.
Darynda Jones
This place is like crazy on crackers.
Darynda Jones
It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Darynda Jones
I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
Darynda Jones
I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
Darynda Jones
I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
Darynda Jones
After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
Darynda Jones
Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
Darynda Jones
Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
Darynda Jones
Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
Darynda Jones
Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
Darynda Jones
Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
Darynda Jones
If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
Darynda Jones