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There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Spiders
Fear
Nothing
Sticker
Bumper
More quotes by Darynda Jones
It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
Darynda Jones
A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
Darynda Jones
Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
Darynda Jones
Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
Darynda Jones
Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
Darynda Jones
Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
Darynda Jones
I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones
If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
Darynda Jones
Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
Darynda Jones
Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
Darynda Jones
I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
Darynda Jones
Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
Darynda Jones
I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
Darynda Jones
My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
Darynda Jones
Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
Darynda Jones
After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
Darynda Jones