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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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Often
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
Darynda Jones
He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones
It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
Darynda Jones
You’re the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones
I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
Darynda Jones
Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
Darynda Jones