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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Often
Come
Totally
Asked
Worth
Instead

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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
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