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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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Roof
More quotes by Darynda Jones
I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
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