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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Happened
Time
Roof

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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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