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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Body
Technically
Remind
Throw
Using
Either
Face
Faces

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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
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Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy. Do you even know what that means? No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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