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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Red
Whatever
Makes
Balloon
Balloons

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
Darynda Jones
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
Darynda Jones
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
Darynda Jones
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
Darynda Jones
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
Darynda Jones
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
Darynda Jones
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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
Darynda Jones
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Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy. Do you even know what that means? No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
Darynda Jones
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
Darynda Jones
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
Darynda Jones
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
Darynda Jones
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
Darynda Jones
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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
Darynda Jones
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
Darynda Jones
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
Darynda Jones
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
Darynda Jones
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Darynda Jones
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
Darynda Jones