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It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Sudden
Kill
Stop
Fall

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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
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Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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But, you're his son, I said, trying really hard to hate him. You're the son of Satan. Literally. And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson. Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, Okay, point taken.
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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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