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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
People
Usually
Behinds
Beyond
Behind
Dead
Left
Part
Hysteria
Hard
Handle

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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT
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But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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But, you're his son, I said, trying really hard to hate him. You're the son of Satan. Literally. And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson. Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, Okay, point taken.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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