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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Part
Hysteria
Hard
Handle
People
Usually
Behinds
Beyond
Behind
Dead
Left

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Before I tell you, I have to know three things, I said. Okay. One, are you sitting down? Yes. Two, are you mentally stable? More than you'll ever be. Well, that was uncalled for. And three, how do you spell schizophrenia? What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
Darynda Jones