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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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Hysteria
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.
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My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
Darynda Jones
I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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