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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier. “Mm-hmm,” I whispered. “This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.” “Yeah, I guess.” “I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones
Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
Darynda Jones
Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones