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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
Darynda Jones
Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
Darynda Jones
The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
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Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
Darynda Jones
His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
Darynda Jones
Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Darynda Jones
I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.
Darynda Jones
Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.
Darynda Jones