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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
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Friona
Texas
Whole
Reaper
Thing
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Manuals
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Grim
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT
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I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs ~Charley Davidson
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. —T-SHIRT
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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Rocket, I said, straightening in the chair. Donovan was just helping me with my contacts. Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. Did you swallow them?
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
Darynda Jones