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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Learn
Arts
Investigator
Art
Stuck
Consultant
Around
Police
Investigators
People
Private
Consultants
Lessons
Charlotte
Kill
Badass
Paper
Martial
Class
Mixed
Davidson

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.
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He's helped me a lot over the years. I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours. I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
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Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
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I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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Does Uncle Bob have anything? I heard he has an STD. I mean on the women. Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones
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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
Darynda Jones
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
Darynda Jones