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Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Government
Destined
Really
Apparently
Never
Recognition
Charley
Would
Kill
Maim
Like
Week
Davidson
Probably
Thesaurus
Least
Horribly
Though
Halloween

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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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We stood there, the three of us, our jaws firmly planted on the floor. Aunt Lil recovered first. She nudged me with her elbow and said with a cackle of delight, I think you guys should make some more of those brownies, 'cause that boy looks hungry.
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.
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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
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