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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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Horrible
Dance
Couldn
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
Darynda Jones
I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
Darynda Jones
Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones
I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
Darynda Jones
I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
Darynda Jones
An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Darynda Jones
“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
Darynda Jones
My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
Darynda Jones
Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way.
Darynda Jones
Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
Darynda Jones
You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
Darynda Jones
You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
Darynda Jones
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones
My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
Darynda Jones
You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
Darynda Jones
She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.
Darynda Jones
I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
Darynda Jones
I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.
Darynda Jones