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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Management
Anger
Training
Needed
Instructor
Maybe
Instructors
Class
Pissed
Signed
Sensitivity

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
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My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
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What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
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He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
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―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.
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The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead.
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish. Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
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He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.
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I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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