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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
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More quotes by Darynda Jones
Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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If I was going to go out tonight, I was going to go out fighting. Or screaming in agony. Either way.
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit. Well, you are pretty fruity.
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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
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Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
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I know, he said in almost bored contemplation. My manners suck. I like to chalk it up to a dissatisfying childhood. I'd chalk it up to that narcissistic personality disorder laces with a smidgen of schizophrenia. Your mother would be proud.
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy. Do you even know what that means? No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
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