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Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Giving
Thanks
Thing
Notes
Much
Praise
Men
Told
Either
Else
Give
Note
Must
Powers

More quotes by Darynda Jones

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I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
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Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy. Do you even know what that means? No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
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I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
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My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT
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I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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.. an emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack. Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet
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That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that.
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Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
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Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me. I can't go with you. Is it because of my questionable morals? No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school. Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bothe
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Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.
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Do not disturb. Already there.
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You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
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When life hands you lemons say, Lemons? What else have you got? - bumper sticker
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I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
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Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent.
Darynda Jones