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I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, This is Beam Me Up. Then to my right. And this is Scotty. Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.
Darynda Jones
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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
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Friona
Texas
Left
Vicinity
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Garret
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Scotty
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A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.
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I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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You’re the reason I breathe
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I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?
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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated. “Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal. “I don’t speak English.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.
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Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way. It's three thirty in the morning. Okay. Want coffee?
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I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
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If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt
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Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
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The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of “less is more.
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When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT
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