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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Dance
Line
Went
Lines
Trying
Like
Cowgirls
Metallica
Drunken

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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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“Time-out,” I said... He twisted his hand around and wound his fingers into mine. “You‘re putting me in time-out?” “Yes,” I said as a shaky sigh slid through my lips. “If I don't go, do I get a spanking?”
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Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
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guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
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There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated. Charley
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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Reyes leaned back against the bar, crossed his arms over his chest, and studied me from beneath those same ridiculously long lashes. Men and their freaking lashes. It was so unfair. Like the exorbitant cost of designer shoes. Or world hunger.
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
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He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.
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That boy needs a hobby. Stalking is a hobby. So is serial killing.
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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
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What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
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