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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Line
Went
Lines
Trying
Like
Cowgirls
Metallica
Drunken
Dance

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Where you just possessed? Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. 'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.
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Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.
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Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
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Charley: If you‘re not going to tell me where you are, if you‘re not going to trust me to help you, then why are you here? Why bother? Reyes: Because you‘re the reason I breathe.
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God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.
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I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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She still wasn't convinced. So, if you were a guy, would you be into me? Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay. Yeah, me, too.
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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated. “Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal. “I don’t speak English.
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Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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