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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
Age: 59
Author
Novelist
Writer
Friona
Texas
Went
Lines
Trying
Like
Cowgirls
Metallica
Drunken
Dance
Line

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If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
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You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house. He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
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After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
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Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
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My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
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Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.
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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
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How would you like your eggs? I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. Fertilized?
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This place is like crazy on crackers.
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I'm a virgin. But this is an old shirt. --T-SHIRT
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He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.
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Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
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Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
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Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd asked her to drown the neighbor's cat. Admittedly, drowning the neighbor's cat didn't really clue me in as much as I would've liked. So, she was angry? He blinked back to me and stared. Like a long time.
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