Quote

Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Benefits
Honest
Aspens
Family
Aspen
Making
Foul
Living
Talks
Whole
Christmas
Good
Mouth
Like
Mouths

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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.
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I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
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I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.
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The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
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I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
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I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
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If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
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It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
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The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.
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