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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Fun
Sides
Belief
Kids
Cram
Seems
Throat
Young
Beliefs
Long
Side
Goes

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
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The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
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I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
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Sometimes my mind wanders other times it leaves completely.
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
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You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
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I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
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I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
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I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
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I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
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I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
Daniel Tosh