Quote

I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.

Daniel Tosh

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Inspiration
Jesus
Everything
Make
Like
Fearless
Fun
Leader

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

Image
I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
Daniel Tosh
Image
At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.
Daniel Tosh
Image
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
Daniel Tosh
Image
The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
Daniel Tosh
Image
Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Sometimes my mind wanders other times it leaves completely.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at your local burrito stand, and you know, you think how can you make a joke about this?
Daniel Tosh
Image
Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
Daniel Tosh
Image
People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
Daniel Tosh
Image
If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
Daniel Tosh