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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Also
Finances
Great
Apparently
Good
Finance
People
Ball
Balls
Numbers
Either
Comes

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I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
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Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.
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I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
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Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
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Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
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I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.
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At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
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I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
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I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
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Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
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It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
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Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.
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I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
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Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
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I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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