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Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Stupid
Magazine
Stuff
Voting
Really
List
World
Lists
Magazines
Hot
Models
Ballot
Wouldn
Ballots

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You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
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It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'
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It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
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If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
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Sometimes my mind wanders other times it leaves completely.
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
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If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
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I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award for it, which I'm quite proud of, but I still haven't seen it. I have no plans to branch out.
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