Quote

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

Daniel Tosh

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Prosper
Unless
Away
Never
Cheaters
Cheater

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

Image
I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
Daniel Tosh
Image
e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Daniel Tosh
Image
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh
Image
If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award for it, which I'm quite proud of, but I still haven't seen it. I have no plans to branch out.
Daniel Tosh
Image
A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I heart abortion. Where's the shirt for that, urban outfitters?! And it won't be a normal heart. It'll be a dead infant heart. Y'know what the back will say? Problem Solved.
Daniel Tosh
Image
The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
Daniel Tosh
Image
It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
Daniel Tosh