Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
Daniel Tosh
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
People
Loophole
Loopholes
Mad
Gay
System
Hate
Found
Doe
More quotes by Daniel Tosh
You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
Daniel Tosh
You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
Daniel Tosh
Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
Daniel Tosh
You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
Daniel Tosh
I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
Daniel Tosh
It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
Daniel Tosh
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Daniel Tosh
I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.
Daniel Tosh
People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
Daniel Tosh
It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
Daniel Tosh
I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
Daniel Tosh
Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.
Daniel Tosh
Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
Daniel Tosh
I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
Daniel Tosh
I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
Daniel Tosh
I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
Daniel Tosh
Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
Daniel Tosh
You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
Daniel Tosh
You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
Daniel Tosh