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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Sentence
Sentences
Bigs
Beautiful
Find
Life
Freshmen
Freshman
Disgusting

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.
Daniel Tosh
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
Daniel Tosh
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I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
Daniel Tosh
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I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
Daniel Tosh
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
Daniel Tosh
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Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.
Daniel Tosh
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I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
Daniel Tosh
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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
Daniel Tosh
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Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
Daniel Tosh
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You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
Daniel Tosh
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
Daniel Tosh
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
Daniel Tosh
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I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
Daniel Tosh
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I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
Daniel Tosh
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
Daniel Tosh
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Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.
Daniel Tosh
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Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.
Daniel Tosh
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
Daniel Tosh
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh