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At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Babies
Date
Dues
Gay
Kill
Baby
Least
Gays

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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
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The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.
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People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
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I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.
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The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
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It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
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If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
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Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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