Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
You know what really shuts up a bully? Learning how to build a pipe-bomb!
Daniel Tosh
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Really
Shuts
Pipe
Bully
Bomb
Bombs
Build
Learning
More quotes by Daniel Tosh
Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?
Daniel Tosh
Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
Daniel Tosh
I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
Daniel Tosh
If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
Daniel Tosh
I think if you're gonna get a tattoo, just get one: the words, 'I'm dumb.' That's it. That way in 10 years, when you go, 'Why did I get this?,' you can be like, 'Oh, I'm dumb!'
Daniel Tosh
Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
Daniel Tosh
I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
Daniel Tosh
If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
Daniel Tosh
You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.
Daniel Tosh
It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
Daniel Tosh
It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
Daniel Tosh
Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Daniel Tosh
A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
Daniel Tosh
My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
Daniel Tosh
It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
Daniel Tosh
You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
Daniel Tosh
I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
Daniel Tosh
Yes, I am aware that I am the gayer version of Jeff Lewis.
Daniel Tosh
Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
Daniel Tosh
