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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Long
Skinny
Regular
Size
Bigs
Doesn
Young
Matter

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
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Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
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I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
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I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
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Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
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Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.
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The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.
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It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
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I hate the idea of owning a gun, but I love the idea of owning a cannon.
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Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
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Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
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A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.
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I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.
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I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
Daniel Tosh
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Is it okay to roofie a girl just to shut her up?
Daniel Tosh
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Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
Daniel Tosh