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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
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Long
Skinny
Regular
Size
Bigs
Doesn
Young
More quotes by Daniel Tosh
Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
Daniel Tosh
At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
Daniel Tosh
I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
Daniel Tosh
I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
Daniel Tosh
Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
Daniel Tosh
I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
Daniel Tosh
I don't know what's more embarrassing in this country, that Michael Phelps fell from the graces for smoking marijuana or that you looked up to a swimmer in the first place?
Daniel Tosh
Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
Daniel Tosh
Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
Daniel Tosh
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh
I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
Daniel Tosh
If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
Daniel Tosh
It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
Daniel Tosh
No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
Daniel Tosh
I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
Daniel Tosh
Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.
Daniel Tosh
You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
Daniel Tosh
I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
Daniel Tosh
Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh
