Quote

Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
People
Hand
Thank
Enjoy
Mouth
Everyone
Clearly
Away
Mouths
Hands
Jokes
Feel
Watching
Feels
Laugh
Shitty
Make
Laughing
Joke

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
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At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
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Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
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I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
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Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.
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Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.
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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
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I graduated from college and went on one job interview and was laughing in my own head because I wouldn't hire me.
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No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
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Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'
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I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.
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I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
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I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
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You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun.
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e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
Daniel Tosh