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You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.

Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Well
Models
Years
Guess
Really
Daughter
Parents
Parent
Sixteen
Year
Skinny
Tell
Princess
Wells
Horrible

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.
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Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about how some of the girls who have taken have died a few days later? Talk about two birds, looks like I will be going to the game this weekend boys.
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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
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I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
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Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.
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The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
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Kangoroos can't hop backwards.
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If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable - unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.
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No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.
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Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
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I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fakeWe have shows like Extreme Make-Over: “I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
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That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
Daniel Tosh
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The only thing better than the world's cutest cat is any dog.
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I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
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I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.
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I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
Daniel Tosh
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How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
Daniel Tosh
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It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
Daniel Tosh