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I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Actors
Play
Much
Good
Version
Versions
Range
Actor
More quotes by Daniel Tosh
Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
Daniel Tosh
Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
Daniel Tosh
I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.
Daniel Tosh
It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
Daniel Tosh
If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.
Daniel Tosh
Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
Daniel Tosh
I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.
Daniel Tosh
I don't know what popping-and-locking is but I know to lock my car door whenever people are doing it.
Daniel Tosh
It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.
Daniel Tosh
I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
Daniel Tosh
I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
Daniel Tosh
Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
Daniel Tosh
Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.
Daniel Tosh
You ever hear girls say that? I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I like to reply with I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
Daniel Tosh
No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
Daniel Tosh
You should never eat when you're on the toilet. But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk! That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
Daniel Tosh
At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
Daniel Tosh
Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
Daniel Tosh
