Quote

I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.

Daniel Tosh

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Tosh
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: May 29
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Executive Producer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Boppard am Rhein
Daniel Dwight Tosh
Long
Love
People
Ethnicity
Ugly

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

Image
The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
Daniel Tosh
Image
God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
Daniel Tosh
Image
It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!
Daniel Tosh
Image
Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award for it, which I'm quite proud of, but I still haven't seen it. I have no plans to branch out.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'
Daniel Tosh
Image
Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.
Daniel Tosh
Image
At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.
Daniel Tosh
Image
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I heart abortion. Where's the shirt for that, urban outfitters?! And it won't be a normal heart. It'll be a dead infant heart. Y'know what the back will say? Problem Solved.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.
Daniel Tosh
Image
Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh
Image
I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.
Daniel Tosh